Home wrecker. The Short kind.

Happy New Year! Has everyone recovered from the Holiday crazies yet? The Housewife household has. We are Fischer-Priced out. Exclamation point. Our living room looks like a cross between the children's section at Barnes and Noble and ToysRUs. This will hopefully be changed at some point in 2012 when we get our bonus room more functional. But that would require some built-ins or some expensive shelving options like these Cameron Bookcases from Pottery Barn Kids. I like the corner shelf and then you can add on additional shelving units to either side. The other pro of this would be that you can always move them to a different place whereas built-ins are well........built in. For-eva. I mean, where are the cheap solutions that look like they belong in House Beautiful?? Bueller, Bueller??

#1 is also completely obsessed with the damn TV buttons. Basically Turtle and I debate on just throwing out our older boxed flat screen TV because the armoire keeps it at excellent height for the little brat. Yes, that's right. We do not have a super expensive wall mounted flat screen TV in our living room. When we buy things you can be sure the next best super technology most awesome model will be out the next damn day. Turtle buys Kindle (old white version)= new sleek gray kindle comes out. Turtle gets iPad for Christmas= iPad 2 out in February. We are cool with our TV because it works and it has HD (duh....we're not that behind on the times.) We don't really need a new one. The problem is the TV weights 400 gazillion pounds.  My vote is to take that thing to Goodwill because I can write it off for more than you can sell it on craigslist. Tell the Single Gal to get a beefy boy toy so he can help us move all this stuff. The armoire is heavy too and that needs to move to the basement. What else can I add to the list.......hmmm the bar stools. #1 loves to re-arrange the furniture, I mean the furniture she's strong enough to push.

Which brings me to my next question. How do you discipline a 14 month old? I mean discipline in a very slight sense obvi. I know the rule is one minute per year of age blah blah blah. But you put her in a corner and she just smiles and waves and says "hiiiiiiiiiiii" to you over and over again. Put her in the pack n play in an other room and she does cry but not for a long time. Once you go in to get her out she tells YOU "no, no, no" and goes to sit down in the corner of it. I ordered this from Amazon and hope it helps. Otherwise the Turtle and I are embracing a Bohemian lifestyle with no television or sofas. Just pillows on the floor and music.

The Housewife

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of our readers/people who find our blog by accident! I must have been a good Single Gal this year because Santa and his helpers were so kind to me! As always, the best part is having so many friends and family to see and visit with this holiday season and all year round.  While I am tired of eating and drinking until I am stuffed every weekend, I am lucky to always have food on my table and if not, then food on someone else's table and a standing invitation to stop in for a bite. 

Today it's been completely rainy and gross but hopefully it will let up for a nice Christmas walk for Hogan since it's our very first Christmas together.  We had a wonderful breakfast with Kay Woww today and we were happy to hear that The Situation's surgery went well and they were releasing him from the hospital today.  We missed him last night at our Christmas Eve celebration.  Let's all send some extra thoughts and prayers to him over the next few weeks. 

And, in case you needed an extra delight today, I received a special gift in this morning's email with this photo-shopped angel attached.    

Love you. Mean it. 

~the Single Gal~ 

The Christmas Card

Last year I did a dual purpose Christmas card/birth announcement with #1's newborn pictures. It was a pretty awesome card if I do say so myself. Which means this year I was faced with having to keep up with those high expectations. I know most of you face the same dilemma of having Christmas card awesomeness. I finally got my cards out so here ya go........this is the picture we used this year. Too much marathon training to schedule family photos.

The Housewife

The Grinch

A post from the Single Gal! It must seem like a Christmas miracle to y'all.  No, I didn't die from running the marathon.  But, I did almost die the week after I came back when I caught a terrible, awful stomach bug.  I won't go into the gory details but it involved a lot of vomiting. And, I doubt I can ever eat another can of Campbell's Select Harvest Italian Wedding soup ever, ever, ever again. 

I just wanted to say "Hi!" and check in with all my favorites.  The Housewife summed up the Marathon (I think "marathon" should be a proper noun, don't you?) pretty well.  It was hard--like really, really, really hard. It was cold. We felt sick to our stomachs. The last 7-8 miles were complete misery.  I would swear never to do another one again, except I didn't meet my goal for a 4:30 time and the fact that I know I can do better is seriously nagging at me.  But, for now I think The Housewife and I will stick to nothing longer than 13.1 for 2012. 

Seriously though, Christmas is here! How did that happen?!  And The Housewife is right--it came too fast! It has been really hectic to get my shopping done post marathon and try to decorate and cook and wrap and get through these next couple weeks at work while so many are out on vacay. Here are some things Hogan and I have been up to--like hanging stockings by the chimney/large-TV-mounted-above-my-mantle with care: 

*Note, Single Gal is technologically challenged. So, I do realize I have some light strands out on my tree. But when Single Gals run Marathons, somethings gotta give. 

In other news, I am trying hard not to be a straight up Grinch this week. Not because I am single during the holiday season, but because Sunday night the bank called me and some Jerkface in Canada swiped just over $235 out of my account on a bogus charge.  First, the Jerkface was really lucky I even had that much in my checking account.  I was also lucky that charge didn't overdraft my account. They will put the money back, but not for 10 business days--which is obviously after Christmas. This also means I have to get a new debit card, which also won't be here for 5-7 business days (again, after Christmas). I am supposed to get a "temporary" debit card at the bank. You know, because I haven't had to work through lunch all this week just to keep my head above water.  

Also, when I attended a holiday party on Friday night I guess Hogan Monster (see above photo) was unhappy because he wasn't invited. So, he ate my eyeglasses. Like, totally crunched the lens out of the frame and made one of my ear pieces bend in an unnatural way.  I am very tempted to put coal in his stocking. Not. Even. Kidding.

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

All I Want for Christmas- Housewife Edition

Christmas feels like it came too fast this year. I blame most of that on marathon tunnel vision and then post marathon blues. Really all I want for Christmas is for someone else to wipe off the high chair and highchair mat. To be able to go get my eyebrows threaded and get a mani/pedi. To go to Barnes and Nobel and walk around for an hour plus. I don't even care if I buy anything. I'll just get a coffee and go read magazines off the rack and put them back. I want to spend time with family and have mimosas for breakfast. But should you be looking for any last minute gifts I will give you my materialistic list. And Amazon.com was my best friend for toys and a few gifts. I don't know why anyone would want to go to Toys/BabiesRUs. I usually find better deals on toys on Amazon and we are Prime members- that means free two day shipping on almost any damn thing.

HD MakeUp Forever Foundation. Let's face it ladies. You get what you pay for in the makeup department. I want my foundation to last all day with minor powder touch up. I feel like I found my best color match with this line too. I ran out like a month ago.

If you're looking for any last minute gifts for the gal who loves make up in your life try www.birchbox.com. You can sign someone up to receive great makeup samples once a month. You can do three months all the way up to a year. (I just think this is a good idea. I can assure you no one is sponsoring anything on this blog.)

I would love to find this book in my stocking. I've been resisting the purchase because it's something I want to start in January with the beginning of the new year. Anyone else intrigued? You can also check out the blog and follow the author on twitter- www.happiness-project.com. 

I could really use a nice pair of flats. I'm loving the look of these Marc Fischer Leopard ones.

I'm sure I will be getting some money for Christmas as well and I will be heading to Loft or J.Crew to purchase some much needed clothes. I have 6 pairs of jeans and hardly any tops to wear with them. I told the Turtle not to get me anything because I got my sewing machine a few months ago. But I am excited about what I got him this year. I think he might actually keep it and not return it. I'll fill you in later.

Hope y'all are done with your shopping and just have a heap to wrap like myself.

The Housewife

Nightmare on the Strip

I know everyone has just been on the edge of their seats waiting to hear how the race went, riiiiiight? Well, it went. That's all we can really say about that. There were some logistical issues that Competitor (people who put on the race) needs to fix. For reals. However, every story should start from the beginning. Flights were ok ....the Single Gal sat next to someone fun and chatted to the whole way.  I forget how long and boring it is heading all the way to the west coast. It was a long day and the Single Gal and I were both pretty tired upon arrival but up and at 'em the next day to the Expo. I felt sure the Expo would be at the convention center at Mandalay......not so much. It was all the way down at the Venetian. So we figured we would take the tram to MGM and from MGM get on the Monorail. Big waste of time and money. The casinos are so big and are designed to keep you in so it's difficult to discern which way you actually need to go. So after much back tracking and bitching from me and the Single Gal we eventually found the damn Expo. There was no signage directing you even once you got into the Venetian.

Yay! We finally have our bibs!

After way too much walking and standing in long check out lines for gear and gels we finally made our way out and waiting for Turtle's Sister and Brother-in-Law who came to run the half. We had a nice lunch where the Single Gal and I broke down to have one glass of wine to take the edge off. The we took a cab back to our hotel which was the best damn decision we made all day (besides the wine of course). The Turtle went to take a nap and we met up with some other friends and ended up sitting in the Sports Book at Mandalay and got educated on placing sports bets. This really thrilled us and we put up some money on a 3 leg parlay bet for some NFL games. Sadly the Patriots busted us early on Sunday by not covering the spread on the damn Colts. But it was fun while it lasted and we wanted something that came with a bigger reward should it have come out like we wanted it to. 


Race Day was long. We walked out to what we thought was the starting area which turned out to be the finish area but had a good idea where everything was. We went back to our rooms for a bit and then went somewhere to eat around 11:45. This was the last meal before the race. Then more waiting.....and waiting. Finally it's time to get ready! 

Notice the Single Gal's short shorts. See, we are all smiles pre-race. I won't bore you with an every mile recap. We started quickly because apparently out of 44K runners only 6K happen to be doing the marathon. Hmmm....we start thinking that is a big difference and that will be a lot of people once they start releasing the 1/2 Marathoners onto the strip an hour and half after we start. I didn't really mind being out in a more industrial/residential area off the strip for the first 13.1. We were just zoned out and trying to keep on pace. There were several hills which we did not account for but we didn't walk at all the first half and finally made it back on the strip. There were many marathoners that complained because they could not get through the crowds of the half to stay on pace and most marathoners didn't have times they expected to get. (Put us on that list too.) We are doing okay at this point. We are hurting a lot earlier than expected which is weird. We walk a little and start running again and The Single Gal and I separate around 16.5. I'm not feeling well and we are both not taking any more gels as the smell of the sewers and the food establishments are making us nauseous. The Single Gal catches back up with me and we end up walk/running the last 8 miles with a finish time of 5:09. 


I think the temperature drop is what got me. I was very warm when we started on the strip only to become very cold from the weather getting colder and due to walking and my core temperature dropping. I could not get warm. My muscles and both knees were hurting. I wanted to stop. If I could have actually found anyone taking runners back I would have pulled off. It was that miserable. The strip lights were not doing anything for me but giving me a headache. The Single Gal got me through. 





We finally make it back to shower and then go get something to eat. Apparently being Sunday night all  of the food establishments closed early. The ones that were still open had long lines (as in over an hour) and were running out of food. Turtle finally rounded us up some Chinese at 12:30 am. 


I know this was long so thanks for reading if you did. We are taking away positives from this and we know we trained for better times we just picked a bad race to run. So our review is not to do this race EVER. They want to make it 60K next year. I sure hope they resolve some things before that. It just wasn't worth the expense for me. High race fees, long travel distance, etc all to run a bad race. This is a large charity event (which is great) but I had no idea how many of the half marathoners would literally be walking the entire race. 

Random Pre-Race/Travel Ruminations

I'm trying not to freak out right now. Poor Single Gal. I mean, I've done two of these before and I'm just a step below a serious panic attack. I just now got on the computer to check in for my flight and successfully secured the last aisle seat available. Karma speaking already? Perhaps. Or is it fake out Karma like "ha ha, you think things are going well but they aren't." Only time will tell.

Did I mention that I have not even packed my suitcase yet? Nothing in it. I still need to shower and have not even settled on my "airport chic" look. Serious white girl problems going on here.

The good news is, The Single Gal and I love Las Vegas. Who doesn't get excited when all those damn strip lights come on? And they stay on until the sun comes up. Which is good because we are usually out until the sun comes up. Except for this trip. The partying happens after the race.

Oh, and I've never been away from #1 for this long before. I'm sure I can find some distractions though.

Can we talk about how much it's costing me to keep #1 in nice shoes? Even the ugly ones are $30 a piece.

I'm signing off for us until we get back. The Single Gal may be reporting from a far if she has time. You can always follow us on twitter @housewifeblogr  and @the_single_gal too.

Love to all who read (which is nobody but our stepmom probably) and wish us luck!!

The Housewife