Monday, October 17, 2011

Who Let the Dog Out?

Me. I let the dog out. My worst nightmares coming true!!!!!! But before I tell you that story I should start at the beginning. The Single Gal had to go to Savannah Saturday night for our friend Little A's engagement party after our morning run. So she entrusted the Housewife household with taking care of Hogan. Which was apparently a big mistake on her part. (Just kidding. We really are seasoned pet owners we are just out of practice since Bailey has passed on from this world. She was blind in her last few years so she never strayed far in the end and would not run away.)

We picked the H-Man up on Saturday and no worries. He's visited here before and #1 quickly began following him everywhere and doing her "woof woof" speak and pointing at him. She loves dogs. A lot. Thankfully Hogan tolerates her shenanigans very well and shares his toys with her. Sunday morning we wake up with relatively little drama from H-Man that night. We get everyone ready to head out of the door to church and we are loading #1 up in the car so I run back inside because I want to make sure I "doggy proofed" everything that Hogan might think is tasty or fun to tear up. So come in my laundry room from the garage and go move two things and head back out but I pause........WHERE IS THE DOG???

Panic, panic and more panic. I hit the laundry room and the damn door is OPEN!! Why????? Who left the friggin door open? (ME! Stupid Housewife.) Turtle is waiting in the car at the opposite side of the garage and I fly through the door and spy Hogan just past our other car at the top of the driveway. Major panic now. I can't breath. How could this be happening? For those of you who don't know Hogan is a runner should he be let off the lease or escape the clutches of your home. I'm thinking the Single Gal is going to spike my head on a pole for this. The Turtle is highly confused as he sees me bolt down the stairs  in my skirt and boots chasing and yelling for the dog very much like Julia Roberts in My Best Friends Wedding when she is running after Michael who is chasing after Kimmie. Oh the drama.

So the dog bolts. Turtle gets out of the car and I run in the get the collar and leash and he goes after the dog. I yell at him because I'm not seeing enough sense of urgency. And he tells me no wonder the dog kept running because I'm yelling like a lunatic and chasing after him. True, I think to myself. So he goes off and I get the car and do a round and luckily when I'm coming back down the road Turtle has at least gotten Hogan back up on our street even though he's still lose. I jumped out of the car and calmly and rationally got the dog. Thank you baby Jesus. Disaster averted. Then as Turtle and I drove to church we debated the pros and cons of telling the Single Gal.

The Housewife aka Professional Dog Chaser

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