Since my last post probably seemed dull and hopeless, I thought that I would do a follow up post for all the Single Gals out there with some more concrete information on "singleness", society, social norms, and the future. Except I am really just going to link an article that better articulates this and try to highlight some of the things I found completely fascinating.
{read: scientific explanations about why I am still single!}
One of my very best friends in the whole wide world is always coming across interesting articles, books, art, etc. that she chats to me about and I was especially interested for her to get me the link the this Kate Bolick article recently published in The Atlantic last November -- All the Single Ladies. It's certainly not a short read, but I would highly recommend trying to peruse it at some point this weekend even if you aren't single, or even a woman for that matter.
I thought there were a lot of great points in this article, but I was especially intrigued by the following information. Seriously. Scientific proof that I am not a freak, or a crazy bitch that no one likes, or someone who isn't attractive enough....{I could go on, but I won't}.
This article is long but one thing that really freaked me out was her mention of the Guttentag-Second theory which basically revolves around what Bolick highlights as what can occur during a "gender crisis". The current gender crisis centers on two things -- first, large numbers of women are becoming more educated than their male counterparts and second, they are beginning to make more money as well {because we are awesome like that}. The other complication is we also outnumber them. This is a big problem for single gals looking to marry. Basically this theory "holds that members of the gender in shorter supply are less dependent on their partners, because they have a greater number of alternative relationships available to them" (see page 3). When women outnumber men, as with our current society, it actually doesn't foster a willingness in men to commit. It's actually quite the opposite. Because there are plenty of us around they can always move on to the next one. So, men don't marry and then women find themselves without traditional roles which leads to our species beginning to dominate {like I mentioned above} by becoming more educated and edging men out of jobs by breaking through that pesky corporate glass ceiling.
The truly scary part for single gals -- it all boils down to this us being able to fish from two different pools of available men. The Deadbeats {dudes that make no money because we took their job} or The Players {the dudes who won't ever commit because there are so many of us}.
And on that note I will dismiss science class. Just don't forget to read the rest because Bolick, a single gal herself, also delves into her own personal freak-outs of still being single when she was 36, college hook-up culture, how the number of married households is on the decline, and the median age of people that get married is still rising. She also takes a long hard look at other stigmas that surround single gals and what it means to be one in today's world. The reason I linked this article is because it is seriously full of information and I can't even begin to cover it all in my already-too-long blog post.
Most important is the part where she emphasizes the lasting and valuable relationships she has formed with other single women as good friends and some even like family. So in the end, even if I never make it to the altar there's always the "consolation" prize of holding a great job, being educated, well-traveled, well-read and embarking on a path that's increasingly not the one that's "less traveled" anymore.
Love you. Mean it.
~the single gal~
