So Many Things In My Head...

I feel like my anxiety peaked a bit this week pre-vacation.  Totally couldn't sleep last night, so I'm wondering if compiling the random stuff in my head on the blog instead will be sort of like an anxiety exorcism.  No comments on my apparent insanity, please.  We don't judge here. 

Lately I'm feeling kinda sad that I didn't embrace the chambray shirt this summer.  I keep seeing it out though and on all these people and making all these cute outfits.  It seems too multipurpose for me not to starve a little and buy one for myself. I saw a girl on a blog I read wearing one with a sequined skirt.  It looked amazing.  For reals.  Also, can you wear chambray year round? Or just Spring/Summer/Fall? Or just Spring/Summer? Someone help me. 

Whyyyyyy did I eat some much black bean, corn, and feta dip after my run?! My stomach hurts.  {That's a nice 3rd grade book report sentence for you.}

They finally bulldozed some of the vacant lots in my Hood {still building} and while I hated all the overgrown nastiness I feel a bit sad that all those annoying rabbits lost their homes.  

Speaking of animals. Saw a cray big spider in the living room this morning.  My efforts to kill it before work failed as my mobility was pretty limited in my heels and pencil skirt and the fact that I also had to leave it to find a magazine to roll up as a weapon.  As such, I couldn't find him anymore and had to leave for work.  So really -- what is that guy up to tonight?  Hanging out in my freaking house.  Being a gross, scary spider.  Hopefully I am safe upstairs for now. 

I found a random lump on the side of Hogan's foot?! But maybe it was there before and I never saw it. Or maybe it's cancer.  Should we go to the vet? He seems fine.  But I swear that darn lump hasn't been there, ever.  

I feel too emotionally bound to Jamie and Claire from Outlander to start a new book right now.  But I also feel their relationship is too intense for me to start the second book in the series.  You know, because they are real people...

Seriously -- how can anyone like that Foster the People song? It's is so awful.  So. Awful. And. Annoying.

At what point will The Housewife completely ban me from drinking Sweet Tea Vodka while we are on vacation with her in laws and other extended fam? I give it a 2.5 day max.  

Who invented the Avocado saver?? {Best tool for the Single Gal kitchen EVER.} 

Why can't there be a Michael Kors Watch Fairy.  I just want to wake up with the one I want under my pillow.  Because it's been a hard year.   And I feel entitled for no good reason at all. 

It feels good to get the crazy out.  Maybe this will help.  Can you tell I need to get away from it all? Yikes. 

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

'Cause You Know, Things Will Change, If Ya Hold On For One More Day

 I'm not going to lie, things are not super in my world right now.  First -- work has been incredibly stressful.  We had a RIF (Reduction In Force, I think? Maybe?) about two weeks ago and the girl that sits across from me was let go among other people I knew.  I still have the sadz about it all.  And, let's face it. As a person riddled with general anxiety throw in the fact that I really don't have much job security right now because I am pretty sure my lovely, small insurance company that I work for (and love!) is going under has really, really, increased my anxiety. Work didn't get any better last week when we had a rep out sick on my team on the two busiest days of the week.  I am still trying to get my head above water. I have been getting to work at 7 a.m. and either working through my lunch break (not that my customers appreciate any of this) and staying late, too. 

So, networking is basically in full force a) because of my New Year's Resolution and b) because at the end of the day, I have to feed Hogan Muffin and pay his rent.  This uses a lot of energy and brain power I don't always have after I come home from work which is causing me a lot of frustration.   I don't want to have to rent my house and move back in with my parents if I fall on super hard times. Even though they are awesome and would let me. (See, I am already at a worst-case-scenario in my mind!)

You want more stress? I got it.  I am working super hard with The Housewife and other bridesmaids to host a bridal shower for Little A and plan her Bachelorette (Because these events Must. Be. Perfect. for my dear friend).  And, surely the world and Little Baby Jesus know I should be devoting all my time to this and not worrying about work.  Lucky for me, The Housewife must have been a party planner in another life.  She routinely talks me off the ledge just about every day about something I am freaking out about.   I am sure I am annoying her because everything is probably really in order and I just make it stressful on myself by worrying too much.  Like having anxiety about the postage I put on the shower invites because the envelope was a weird shape.  No seriously, this stuff keeps me awake at night. 

I've also gained 5 lbs since Christmas. FIVE. WTH.  

I've also seen 3 Putt a bit. Again.  Ok, a lot. Since before Christmas. WTH. 

Y'all -- I can't even get any sleep lately.  I had an awful time sleeping this past weekend and last night I think I barely slept at all.  I am a scary, mean, nasty person when I don't get enough sleep.  

Not on purpose.  It's just that I am So. Damn. Tired. 

I promise to check back in soon.  If you follow on Twitter you know I have a dinner date I've been semi-waiting on for almost 2 years now. More on this after I get some real sleep. Or buy some Tylenol PM to medically induce the sleep I can't have. 

Love you. Mean it. 

~psycho, sleepless, Single Gal~