Wednesday, February 29, 2012

'Cause You Know, Things Will Change, If Ya Hold On For One More Day

 I'm not going to lie, things are not super in my world right now.  First -- work has been incredibly stressful.  We had a RIF (Reduction In Force, I think? Maybe?) about two weeks ago and the girl that sits across from me was let go among other people I knew.  I still have the sadz about it all.  And, let's face it. As a person riddled with general anxiety throw in the fact that I really don't have much job security right now because I am pretty sure my lovely, small insurance company that I work for (and love!) is going under has really, really, increased my anxiety. Work didn't get any better last week when we had a rep out sick on my team on the two busiest days of the week.  I am still trying to get my head above water. I have been getting to work at 7 a.m. and either working through my lunch break (not that my customers appreciate any of this) and staying late, too. 

So, networking is basically in full force a) because of my New Year's Resolution and b) because at the end of the day, I have to feed Hogan Muffin and pay his rent.  This uses a lot of energy and brain power I don't always have after I come home from work which is causing me a lot of frustration.   I don't want to have to rent my house and move back in with my parents if I fall on super hard times. Even though they are awesome and would let me. (See, I am already at a worst-case-scenario in my mind!)

You want more stress? I got it.  I am working super hard with The Housewife and other bridesmaids to host a bridal shower for Little A and plan her Bachelorette (Because these events Must. Be. Perfect. for my dear friend).  And, surely the world and Little Baby Jesus know I should be devoting all my time to this and not worrying about work.  Lucky for me, The Housewife must have been a party planner in another life.  She routinely talks me off the ledge just about every day about something I am freaking out about.   I am sure I am annoying her because everything is probably really in order and I just make it stressful on myself by worrying too much.  Like having anxiety about the postage I put on the shower invites because the envelope was a weird shape.  No seriously, this stuff keeps me awake at night. 

I've also gained 5 lbs since Christmas. FIVE. WTH.  

I've also seen 3 Putt a bit. Again.  Ok, a lot. Since before Christmas. WTH. 

Y'all -- I can't even get any sleep lately.  I had an awful time sleeping this past weekend and last night I think I barely slept at all.  I am a scary, mean, nasty person when I don't get enough sleep.  

Not on purpose.  It's just that I am So. Damn. Tired. 

I promise to check back in soon.  If you follow on Twitter you know I have a dinner date I've been semi-waiting on for almost 2 years now. More on this after I get some real sleep. Or buy some Tylenol PM to medically induce the sleep I can't have. 

Love you. Mean it. 

~psycho, sleepless, Single Gal~

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