Stormy Weather

H is scared of thunder.  This afternoon it was my turn to comfort him.  And also traumatize him with a bath and a walk in the rain. 

*taken with hipstamatic

My "I want it NOW" List

The Single Gal is harping on me to post my birthday wish list, so here it goes. But before I really get into that I will tell you I am being a classic Gemini and feel terribly indecisive. For real....I'm not sure what I want to commit myself to at all. I do know that I would like my fridge to stop making noises that sound like an airplane intermittently throughout the day but that's another story for another day.

I am really excited about what I'll be purchasing for the Single Gal. I hope she adores it and doesn't turn her nose up at it like Baby when we gave her some Kate Spade bangles for her birthday.

Since I'm indecisive in the words of Kenny Powers I would like some dolla dolla bills. Then I can buy a jet ski whatever I want. And that list would include the following:

Ole Henrickson Sheer Transformation Moisturizer (notice the "natural" symbol for my new granola ways)

The Turtle would love to give me an iPad but I don't want one. He's a "technology pusher" as I call it. But for the techy in me I choose this: a Nikon D3100 DSLR. This would be the mother load as in raining leprechauns and pots of gold on my little Housewife heart.

I need a new swimsuit. Desperately. However there is a change to that request because I now know why Victoria Secret makes push-up swimsuit tops. SO....sign me up for one of those this summer. (* in case there was confusion I am NOT pictured below*)

This Lilly Pulitzer Day Planner/Calendar will help me keep track of the workouts my coach is giving me when my training starts for Las Vegas Marathon 2011. So I can officially document how close to death he brings me each day. (Not sure if this is a current design but you catch my drift.)

Last but not least a new pair of Nike Structure Triax 14's. These keep my feet happy and painless and me injury free. Basically I will die if Nike ever discontinues this shoe. Not super fun.....but super necessary.

I'm also out of my make-up BFF- HD Forever Foundation and some other items which can be purchased at Sephora. See.......I just can't decide.

The Housewife

Birthday List

As The Housewife and I approach the big 28 (read: inch that much closer to death thirty) I thought I would do the world a favor and post some prezzies I'm very intersested in receiving for my birthday.  I know times are tough and the economy is a real bitch, so I will of course be accepting love and undying admiration from my family and the general public as well.  We all know I will probably buy these fun items for myself eventually anyway...

1. The Longchamp - I've wanted one for so long! This one is my current favorite - the large Le pliage. 

2. The Kindle -- I finally gave into technology, even though I will always love the feel of a real book.  These are just too cool and instant tolive without! Even more awesome--the new price of $114! 

3. All gift cards to the make-up mecca, Sephora will gladly be accepted. 

A few other things on my wish list--to see all my loves ones, have a fabulous brunch sometime in June, a fabulous dinner in the city, all the fro-yo my heart desires, and to celebrate the entire month of June without judgement. 

Neil Diamond knows best, for the Monkees and for me.

I thought it was time for a cloth diaper update. You know, for all of our Internet stalkers. (Only kidding and by that I mean we WISH we had stalkers.) I'll put it in the words of Neil; "I'm in love, I'm a believer." I have seriously been converted into a cloth diaper obsessive compulsive freak. If you don't believe me just ask my husband (the Turtle).




We have not had any blowouts or leaks with these diapers and so far I've found they don't make #1 sleep any worse than putting a 12 hour Pampers Baby Dry diaper on her. She can absolutely make it 12 hours in a cloth diaper that I double the inserts in. The one thing I did do is beg the Turtle to get me a hybrid diaper as a Mother's Day gift. It doesn't really bother me to go out with the FuzziBunz pocket diapers. If there's a dirty diaper I just bag it up like I would a wet diaper and take it home and rinse it later. No big deal. But I do take #1 to the gym a good bit during the week and this child loves to do it up right in the car on the way over. Doesn't matter if she just had the biggest dirty diaper on the planet before we leave. So I got a GroVia Hybrid One Size diaper cover and some chlorine-free biodegradable inserts that you just stick inside. When the diaper needs to be changed you just unstick the insert, put another one in and throw it away. (I feel better knowing this insert will actually biodegrade by the end of this year....unlike a regular disposable diaper.) I just wash the diaper cover with all the other diapers when I do a load. Perfect. You can also get some snap in cotton inserts for these as well (which I plan on getting).

GroVia



I can absolutely tell a difference in the amount of trash our household produces. It is significantly less and that makes me happy. I do not mind the extra laundry load every other day for the diapers. (If you have more diapers then you don't have to do it as often but I only have 12.) Also, my wet bag has never smelled as bad as my diaper pail. Not even close. The Turtle has not had any trouble transitioning and he also prefers cloth to disposables as well. He even went with me to a hippie event. We participated in The Great Cloth Diaper Change around Earth Day. It was interesting to say the least. I'll save that story for another day.

I know Neil intended for the secret meaning of these lyrics to be: "Cloth rules and disposables drool Housewife. Be a believer."

PS- I seem to have a iMac handicap so humor me and click on the links until the Single Gal can tutor me in her wizard ways of making photo magic happen on this blog. I'm 50/50 in this department.

Where There's Smoke...There is a Smoke Detector. Which has batteries. And Batteries Die.

Vacation was wonderful--but I had a hard dose of reality in the wee hours of this morning. 

Picture this--wake up at 2 a.m. Freaking downstairs smoke detector battery has died.  Shut door to dull incessant and high-pitched beeping. Turn on TV.  Try to convince the dog his ears won't bleed and no one is downstairs.  Try to dive back into sleep.  Enter recurring nightmare.  All of them have slight variations but the theme is always the same.  Snakes.  Some are terrifying, some are just annoying.  

I am in a house and have to go in the room I am supposed to sleep in--where there are two really big snakes.  I know they are in there.  I am begging someone, anyone to help me.  Someone I know and trust.  But no one will help me.  I end up in the room anyway frantically standing on a chair, tearfully pleading (read: freaking out) with someone to just help me because I am so afraid...the snakes are on the floor. And no one comes.  No one will help me. 

I have to admit this one had a hard grip on my heart at 5 a.m. But I have to get up and deal with dog walking.  Which means we have to go down to where the smoke detector won't stop beeping.  And that means the dog is freaking out now, too.  Now I am running late for work.  And I don't know what to do about this problem. Clearly I can't leave the dog here all day with the beeping. He is scared out of his mind already.

I know most of us have seen that "Modern Family" episode that was super cute and funny where Phil couldn't locate the beeping smoke detector, but this morning was far from cute and funny.

Phil:

Attempt 1: Drag kitchen chair into foyer.  Successfully twist smoke detector and let it dangle from the ceiling.  WTH is the battery compartment? Why can't I get it open.  Can't really reach it all that well.

Attempt 2: Grab my 4 inch wedges.  Stand on living room chair in these shoes but still can't see shit or find the battery compartment.

Attempt 3: Call Dad and see if he will come over. It's not like I even have a new battery to put in the smoke detector if I take the old one out. He seems generally unenthusiastic.  I complain about how the only ladder I have is gigantic. I am concerned about having to drag it in the house alone.  Dad says I am strong enough to do this. Now I am really late for work.

Attempt 4:  Now I am in tears.  I back the car out of the garage.  I shut the garage so I can leave the door open to lug in 12 foot ladder.  The dog decides the best place to hang out is the garage as the downstairs is a war zone.  He refuses to come back inside and looks at me like I am trying to kill him. But now, I have the 12 foot ladder.  I climb the ladder.  I have a screwdriver in hand to pry open whatever is up there so that I can remove the battery.

6:50 a.m. (I am supposed to be at work at 7) -- mission accomplished.  The dog is back in the house.  More tears are shed on the way to work as I run out of the door.  It's almost like I was living my dream--thank god no snakes were there.

Me (minus Zack Morris):

I know I shouldn't sweat the small stuff.  I know that I shouldn't be fearful of being alone forever since I already do everything for myself anyway.  But still...

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

Incommunicado. And is it Holy Water or Holy Sh*t?

That's right. The Single Gal is out of the country and in essence we are incommunicado. This is a rare occurrence for us. It's not that we have to see each other everyday but we email constantly and could potentially have up to three phone calls on any given day. I miss her; perhaps it's just our "twin-ness" which renders each of us like this. She's the Lavern to my Shirley, the Monica to my Rachel....we're our own wolf pack. She did email me from a potentially shady internet cafe on Thursday of this week and all is well with the beach bum.

She is a bum because I told her she left me in my time of need. My need for having to shop for an outfit for #1's baptism next weekend by myself. I don't really HAVE to have her with me. I mean, I'm perfectly capable of shopping on my own but her opinion and assistance is appreciated. She certainly shops a lot more than me. (We'll address her internet shopping addiction habit one day.) I just had to settle for the opinion of the LOFT associate in the dressing room. Hopefully she told me the truth. The Turtle took over wrangling #1 yesterday morning so I could go out and browse the bookstore with a coffee and then get a new outfit and some espadrilles. I mean wrangle literally because she is crawling and pulling up constantly now. There is no more sitting contently and playing with surrounding toys. Bottom line is she can no longer be trusted.

This kind of outing is just usually something the Single Gal and I do together. A chance to browse the bookstore, catch up on the girl talk and find something cute to add to our closets. I'm definitely ready for her to be home again........or at least in a place where we can be "communicado" again. (That's the opposite of incommunicado, right? Ok, ok, so I made up a word. I'm allowed.)

I need her back to keep my sanity in line for this circus, I mean the baptism. This event looked really good on paper and now that it's about to come to fruition the Turtle and I are not sure what the heck we were thinking. Simple logistics were probably not thought about in any serious detail. Like trying to decide where 50 adults would even fit at the same time in our house much less have a place to sit down and eat. But we're trying to be creative and here's hoping it's successful and there is not a drop of rain next Sunday.

So if you need me I'll be chasing around Godzilla baby and trying not to drive myself crazy about the masses of people coming to my house next week.

What Happens In Punta Cana...Stays in Punta Cana*

I thought this week would never arrive!! Wednesday this Single Gal is leaving to spend 4 nights and 5 days in tropical paradise.  All drinks included. All food included.   Fun also included. 

Hopefully I will just have to sit by the pool and glance at a cabana boy who will automatically know exactly what I want and bring it to me as soon as humanly possible.  I can't wait to be on an airplane with Little A for our big trip for R&R. I am in desperate need of this vacation. It is starting to make me physically sick to listen to my phone ring incessantly at work and then come home to a giant "to do" list.   The only thing on the "to do" list this week involves having a pina colada for breakfast. 

Note to self. Stay away from the casino. 

Anyway, in honor of my trip I thought I'd do a small montage of my some photos that should make you sufficiently jealous and some words of wisdom from Kenny (F*ing) Powers and The Hangover (if you make it down to the asterisk).

 "Once again I'm with the hottest chick in town, buyin' the most expensive fashions, dinin' in the fanciest food places, riding around on goddamn jet skis. Rainin' trim. Hallucinogens. Jet skis again. Throwin' heat. And getting laid."

-Kenny Powers

*"Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you."

-love you. mean it.

the single gal