It's Almost Here...

The Royal Wedding! We are excited!

The Housewife is prepping and we will be eating a lovely breakfast at her place.

Also, Little A is in town for her sister's wedding and made a surprise last minute decision to come up a night early.  She is staying with me and we are up supes early to head over to the Housewife's place.  The champagne has been purchased and in the morning we will look just like this (admittedly, we will also look like this on Sunday while we brunch):




(photo courtesy of stinkylomax via tumblr)




Love you.  Mean it. 

Things I'm Currently Obsessed With...

It's been a couple weeks of super blog laziness from the Single Gal! Many apologies to our reading public.  It's shaping up to be a good week and I was so busy with friends/family/etc last weekend that I barely had time to shower let alone write something.  And, let's face it--even this post will probably be lackluster.

So, here it is for Tuesday night.  Stuff I'm currently obsessed with! I hope these things excite you, too my dear reader.

First off.  This little photo.  So.My.Life.Right.Now.






If you know me, you know I obsessively eat the same things over and over again for a few months until I can't stomach it anymore.  I like routine all the way down to my meal.  Right now I have been having lots of Campbell's Select soups and eating fro-you for dinner. Oh, and polishing off those Girl Scout cookies has become my personal mission for April...

How can there be so many calories in one little cookie? 

After you eat all the Girl Scout cookies you can, you watch your favorite sappy girl movie as much as you want.  Why? Because you're obsessed (you know, like when Beyonce was cray cray in that movie--she was super obsessed).  

I think I would purposely F up this shoot repeatedly.  "Sorry Mr. Director, I think we need to do that one where Gerartd is on top of me one more time.  It wasn't quite right."

And, last but not least, my new family addition.  Hogan.  He is pretty comical when he is not pissing me off about drooling on my hardwood floors (it makes cloudy spots.  I'm anal. Whatev.)

We walk.  A lot.  I dig it. 

Have I bored you enough??????

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

Royal Wedding Week

It's the final countdown to the Royal Wedding this week. The Single Gal was gracious enough to take the day off work so we will be up bright and early celebrating. By celebrating we mean having champagne at a ridiculous hour via EST so we can pretend to be on London time for the festivities and television coverage. Turtle has some company cohorts that are in the London branch and everyone is basically off Thursday and Friday this week on "holiday" as they say over the pond.

Are any of you celebrating this Friday?

Perfect Imperfections

 It's been busy lately and the Housewife has been keeping up with blog responsibilities of late while I have managed to squeeze out a few Tumblr posts (and clearly never met my deadline for our 5th "Day of Family" post).  If you don't follow us on Tumblr you don't know that I have recently adopted a dog.  3 Putt's dog to be exact.  Long story short, he was going to have to give sweet Hogan away due to his work schedule and I am in some sort of emotional crisis so I practically begged him to give the dog to me.  I can't explain my attachment to this large creature that sheds excessively and drools everywhere after he drinks his water, but it's been two weeks and I'm in love.   I am utterly horrified to be a "dog person" but I have morphed already.

Speaking of things that are horrifying--I bought him a fun new toy when he came to live with me because I loathe his favorite stuffed Squirrel.  Enter Fuzzy Green Man. Fuzzy Green Man had a nice life for about a week and a half. Hogan has already ripped all the stuffing/insides out of Fuzzy Green Man and killed him.

The only toy that survives is the mother freaking Squirrel.  

I hate it.  Squirrel is nasty, ratty, and disgusting but for some reason he gets to keep his insides.  I can barely touch it without cringing.  Actually, I can't even believe I put it on my sofa so I could take a picture of it.  Today Hogan brought it to me and I just stood there.  I stood there judging him with his favorite, nasty (did I mention disgusting?) Squirrel that he has had for a long time and clearly loves very much.

And then I realized that I had no right to judge him.

 Meet Bear (I was a creative child, what can I say?).

That's right.  This is my teddy bear.  Bear lives in the closet.  I would never bring him out for the general public to see (you know, so I won't be judged) but he is very dear and special to me despite his awkward and ungainly appearance.  When I was younger I would take him everywhere and after a while he started to fall apart.  His head wouldn't stay on.  And neither would his arms.  My mom would routinely sew him up.  My grandmothers would sew his body parts back on.  I would sew his body parts back on.  But the fabric is just too worn to even hold thread in some places.  I look like a teddy bear serial killer because I keep his arms and head in a plastic bag next to his body in the linen closet.  But, despite all this--he is awesome.

It was suddenly very clear to me.  I am obviously the only one who can truly appreciate this stuffed, decapitated, limbless Bear.  As such, Hogan is still the proud owner of cruddy Squirrel.

Love you. Mean it.

~the single gal~

She's got them apple bottom jeans...

Or are they diapers? I have to shout out probably my favorite blogger MODG for being the cause of my recent revolution. Revolution you say? Yes, a revolution. I suppose it's only fitting that it's Earth Month due to Earth Day on April 22nd. I have decided to move from disposable diapers to cloth diapers for #1. I did not take this decision lightly. I read a post MODG wrote about using cloth diapers on her little man and I started my own research. By research I mean scouring the internet about cloth diapers until my eyes hurt........I even had dreams about cloth diapers. Once that was done the next task was convincing the Turtle. Cloth diapers are a bit of an investment up front because you really need at least 12 so you can get through an entire day and that's also probably washing the load everyday. The Turtle didn't give me any problems and immediately said, "Ok. Let's do it." I told him I still wasn't sure and anyone who knows me knows I really can't pull the trigger easily on large purchases. 


Soooooo I researched more and more until Turtle said just get them. There you have it. I ordered 12 FuzziBunz and could not contain myself until they arrived at my house late yesterday. Supposedly Tori Spelling used these too and that means they have to be fantastic, right? You do have to sit down and size the elastic in the legs because these diapers are "one size" which means that you can use them from 7 lbs-30 lbs (essentially until you potty train your child). 

Did you know around 18 billion diapers are dumped in a landfill every year? That's just one year. You don't want to know how long it takes one to biodegrade. No, I don't expect everyone to cloth diaper their kids. Since I'm a Housewife now I have time to devote to this and most daycares probably don't support cloth diapering in their facilities. So in an effort to reduce my trash (and smelly diapers sitting in the hot southern sun while I wait on my trash pick up each week) I have chosen to go green cloth. Today starts the trials and tribulations of the cloth diaper challenge. What do you do with the poop you might ask? It goes where yours goes, in the toilet, where it should be. You can pick up this handy dandy sprayer to assist you with this task. Then you just toss the insert and the diaper into a wet pail and just dump and wash.


Yes, they are a little bulkier than a disposable diaper but so far I have not had any trouble with a onsie fitting over it. I did order the "gender neutral" 12 pack of colors which was not my first choice. But let me tell you how this would play out should I have ordered the "girl" colors package.....when we have #2 it would be a boy for sure. Now that I've ordered the neutral colors #2 will most definitely be a girl. How's that for gender prediction? 

If you need me I'll be packing up my things so I can move to California or Colorado. Where all good hippies belong. But don't worry......I'm not starting a compost pile in the backyard. 

College Prepster Giveaway

Head over to College Prepster today. She is giving away some Zoubaby rain boots that are adorable! I suppose if we actually win the giveaway I will have to fight the single gal for these cuties......

Day Four: The Turtle

Essentially this was supposed to be posted yesterday. I think the Single Gal and I were a little too ambitious this week but let's face it....it would be one super long post if we tried to contain all of this information together. This is just to give you a better understanding of our world. 


The Turtle is the sole supporter of the housewife and #1. The Turtle is an awesome triathlete and completed Ironman Arizona a mere weeks after #1's arrival. Some contended that we were crazy but we are glad 2010 went the way it did even though a baby and taking on IM was a bit ridic-- we made it.  We did have to send the Single Gal across the country with the Turtle for race support though. But she was ok with it because we bought her plane ticket. Oh, and I forgot to throw Turtle's little sis's wedding in the mix as well. #1 trooped through that like a champ at 3 weeks old and Mom was a bridesmaid too.  (The Turtle's little sister is also an L which causes some occasional confusion. No, really...they have the exact same name.)  There were also three job changes in 2010 between both of us. It was truly a year for the books. 


The Turtle drives me crazy and makes me laugh... sometimes all at once. He has an insane sense of smell which coupled with my non-sense of smell creates heated discussions in our house. He always thinks something smells and wants me to help him find what smells; when the truth is I can't really smell anything at all. Also, the Turtle keeps us fed and the house clean. You didn't think I did all of that did you? He's obsessed (like Mariah) with his new canister vacuum. Now don't misunderstand and think that The Housewife can't cook, because she can. The Turtle is indecisive when it comes to choosing what he would like to eat for dinner and I will just eat whatever he puts in front of me. (How about that for a role reversal?) He tends to micro-manage me while I'm cooking and that drives me crazy, which is reason #2 why he is the chef. I will say that I do handle all of the laundry and even the dry cleaning. The dry cleaning lady calls the Turtle "Mr. Stacy" because he hardly ever goes to drop off/pick up. 


And the best thing about the Turtle? He let's me hang out with the Single Gal tons. I think some days he's still astounded by our similarities even after 10 years. 


The Housewife

Day 3: Every Family Has One...

The Baby.  You know, the one who magically gets the better life after your parents sent you out the door as a perfect conformist to their ridiculously early curfews, always telling you what you could and could not watch on TV, all while making sure you were involved in all the necessary after school activities you needed, and making sure you got your act together in general to enter the real world.   Then you come home from college and realize the Baby has had the run of the house, stays out as late as she wants, and does whatever she wants as if that's the way it's always been.

Little L is The Baby of our family. No one puts her in a corner, she just likes it there.

Our little sister...she does what she wants, when she wants.  She arrives to brunches and Christmas dinner when she feels like it--Lord knows we could never get to church on time in the old days because we were all piled in the car waiting on her.  No matter.  The Baby feels that we should wait.  And trust me, she makes us wait even now.  Little L is still close by though.  And K-Woww still says she is the smartest of us all (as if she needed someone to already confirm her deepest suspicions) and her most beautiful baby (seriously, she will tell you that The Housewife and I were very "average" looking as small children).   Little L always keeps us guessing and keeps a nice air of mystery about her as she usually ignores all our calls more often than answering them.

Also, small shout-out as Little L's birthday is next Tuesday! Happy 24th, L! We love you.

~the single gal and the housewife~

Day 2: Some families have a coat of arms. We just have a vulgar catch phrase.

Big J and P — our Dad and Step Mom (not the evil kind).  These two characters own their own business and are supes in love.  Always doing fun things and inviting us along (to almost everything). In the summer they can be found on the lake all weekend long. We're really glad Big J got the boat. We're glad because it's cheaper than either of us buying a boat and nothing relaxes Big J more than being on the boat.  He loves driving around his girls....and lets face it we just keep on adding more girls. Thankfully P has two sons, B & B, and they add some necessary manliness to our bunch. 


P coined our famous catch phrase, "I fucked up,” which is occasionally changed to “We fucked up.” (This of course happened in dramatic fashion at Cuz B’s college graduation party during an inebriated conversation with Cuz’s girlfriend at the time. It did not end well…….for the girlfriend that is.) Now it’s just our family motto. 


More on the B's and Cuz later. 


The Housewife and The Single Gal

Five Days of Family: Day 1

Family.  So seemingly annoying and full of drama, but time and time again the ones who are always there for you.  To understand both The Single Gal and The Housewife it’s probably good to let you know how crazy it is around here most of the time.  

First problem—we all live really close together.  This means that our family thinks we need to do things together ALL the time.  Also, we are a classic product of divorce. This just means our family has expanded to include more people.  Seriously, we just keep adding them--especially with the addition of #1 in October. Not that we are trying to take over the world, but the masses are a lot to contend with when scheduling ANY type of family activity—birthday party, Christmas, vacations…etc.  Congress moves faster when passing bills. 

It’s probably better to list us all out. Note that all names have been changed to protect the innocent on our blog and The Housewife and I have nicknames for everyone anyway. Hope you enjoy this week's feature.

K-Woww and The Situation — Mom and her most recent BF (who we LOVE).  K-Woww and The Situation have their own lives (thank god) and live to GTL.  They are at the gym or pool if you are looking in the summertime. They spend a lot of time dropping off and picking up dry cleaning. They can also be found at the local PURE Taqueria that's within walking distance of their place (thanks for making the world a safer place PURE).   The Situation constantly cracks us up and is an obsessive-compulsive Googler. While watching Wimbledon this past year we began discussing who was taller, Federer or Nadal. The Situation just had to know. (They're the same in case you were wondering too.....each logging in at 6'1".)

We knew The Situation was "one of us" when...he asked for a refill while one of us was already up getting one for ourselves. We are a big "since you were up..." family.  Seriously, we have been known to sit on the couch in a fit of hunger only to wait until K-Woww walks by so that we can ask her for a refill or a sandwich.

Best family moment EVER so far...when K-Woww made brunch and The Situation wasn't ready for his meal yet.  Too bad we are serious eaters and everything on the brunch buffet was already demolished by the time he felt like eating.  We wait for no one.  It's kill or be killed in our family.

The Situation should really get an award for just plain being okay with the circus that commences when we all gather together.  It's not uncommon for The Single Gal to bust into a room with a crazy story that usually involves lots of curse words.  Sometimes we barely stop to breathe when we are all together and talking. Mom is one of those awesome mothers who has her own life.  She is always there for you when you need to call her about something, but she isn't going to jump into your business uninvited.  The unfortunate part of not seeing K-Woww all the time? She is an amazing cook (hence, there IS something to miss about being in high school).

Until tomorrow........

~The Single Gal and The Housewife~