Baby v. Wild

8  months. That's how old #1 is now. Where did the time go? It's like there's a time sucking vacuum in my life taking it away so quickly. I have a couple of new best friends I'd like to introduce you to. One is this book I'm trying to read.

We won't discuss how I've downloaded a Stuart Woods Stone Barrington novel on my Kindle and am now reading that instead. (What? I'm a sucker for characters that continue into other novels.) Seriously, I need to get the child rearing book read. It's not that #1 isn't sleeping at night. We've got bedtime down. So down it's down like that song "baby are you down down down down down." Night sleep is the first to regulate and that one is almost easy. We did have to do some crying around 5 months but it wasn't an ordeal. Soon they are like little disciples and you are Jesus bringing them their last meal and they're rubbing their little eyes as they drink that night bottle.

This nap thing is a different story. #1 is trending to be a "different" baby. I hear all of these things from other mom's like "Oh they usually drop their early morning nap at 6 months." So I try to do that and #1 is telling me, "Hey lady. I don't know what you think you're doing but I go back to sleep at 9 am. You hear me? 9 am." So I back off and the 9 am nap is like clock work. Sometimes we even go back to sleep at gasp.....8:30. Other kids seem to nap from 11-1 and 4-6 or something. Not in this household. She goes back to sleep around 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon. I'm going to stamp "your baby all babies are different" on my forehead. Ok, thanks, bye. I really think #1 is the problem.........not me. It couldn't be me. (Of course it's me.)

My other best friend is the gym. 6 days a week my friends. I'm sore and my body is tired. The other thing #1 and I do at the gym is go to the cafe so I can feed her her baby food before we go home. They will give her a bottle in the childcare center for me (um.....yay). While #1 has been crawling and pulling up for the last month and a half she has no teeth. Zero. Her little BFF who is 13 weeks older than she is has eight teeth. Eight. #1 will be eating purees for the.rest.of.her.life. My biggest fear lately is that she will choke on something so that's why I stick with purees. I can hardly stand to give her those dis solvable puff things. They for real melt in your mouth but I don't care.

And as I look around at all the other moms (who are of course in fabulous shape with kids younger than #1 and they have four or five of those boogers running around) feeding their babies all kinds of organic baby food and I have my Gerber baby food. I feel inferior. And why should I? Like THEIR green beans taste that much better than OUR green beans. I mean, life is not an organic picnic. I'm teaching my kid survival skills. She will need them......especially with no teeth.

If you need me I will be trying to survive my new work out schedule. It will be worth it though and I am enjoying the challenge.

the Housewife

Once Upon a 15% Time Window...

I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately.  I think it has come with the advent of my birthday.  I’ve also been thinking about my general reading public--I know you guys are like, “Man, this is the most boring single gal in history”.  It definitely feels true right now. I should be shoveling out hysterical re-caps of horrible Match.com dates, nights on the town, and funny encounters with men other than the one that handles my dry cleaning.  I try--I really do, but sheesh--where is the time?!

Let’s talk about how many hours there are in each day and list out my current schedule.  I can see why most gals get married right out of college.  I should have used my time more wisely when I actually had almost all the time in the world to study and meet the future Mr. Single Gal.

It seriously all boils down to basic math--so let’s examine my life in numbers, and weigh the limited probability that I will actually meet someone in my “spare” time.

Total time in my day (or, everyone else's day too): 24 hours
Total time in my week: 168

Exhibit A: Work
I am going to just go ahead and factor in time at work and also the time it takes me to get to work.  Average number of hours taken up: 11 hours.  I leave around 6:30 a.m. and get home a little after 4:30 p.m. I don’t even want to get into how early I have to get up to make myself presentable, walk the dog, pack my lunch, and make sure I get out the door with all my belongings needed for the day.

Exhibit B: Exercise
I am sure you know the importance of looking good and keeping yourself mentally and physically in check with exercise to this Single Gal.  Now that The Housewife and I are beginning our marathon training the exercise has seriously been bumped up and these workouts HAVE to be completed.  And this also means factoring in travel time to the gym.  5 workouts for the week with about 2 hours on average taken out of my day.

Exhibit C: Adding up the little things
Being a big proponent of having almost everything in my life in order as much as possible which eliminates a good deal of undue stress, we now have to consider the other little things like walking the dog so that my sweet angel Hogan is happy and healthy as well.  I try to give him 20-30 minutes each evening for a jaunt around the neighborhood or a trip to the park. Ample chats on the phone with The Housewife probably average an hour each day. Vacuuming excessively and trying to get some laundry done/unload the dishwasher/make dinner for myself/etc.  Trying to read, blog, and catch up on a tv show or two is probably another two hours. Let’s thank Little Baby Jesus now for the ability to multi-task for some of these! I barely have time to keep my nails nicely manicured. Bye additional 3 hours of my day when I get home.

Exhibit D: Sleep
And you thought I had all this other time. Let’s not forget about beauty rest.  The Single Gal is a complete monster without at least 7 hours of sleep (not that I think I have been doing well getting that much lately, but it’s the magic number).

So, with that being said--here is what time looks like during the week:
24 - 11 - 2 - 3 - 7 = 1

Hmmm...a spare hour. Surely this is taken up with something...

Now, I know that is not much during the week. I will be more liberal with the weekend times.

48 hours of the 168 are for the weekend:
-14 hours for sleep
-4-6 hours for other housework and laundry
-2 hours for workouts/long runs

This leaves 28 full hours! Initially that sounds awesome and hopeful.  28 sounds like a lot of weekend spare time.  But in the grand scheme of things, this is a small window out of 168 hours.  It’s only a little over 15% of the entire week/month/year.  

(Insert image of me hyperventilating into small brown lunch sack as it’s currently unavailable on the Internet.)

But, in the spirit of birthday optimism, I would like to note that I have good time management skills. So, here’s hoping that with a little help from LBJ and my own personal qualifications it will all happen in good time...15% of good time, that is.

~the single gal~

Martha Stewart might put a hit out on me. Seriously.

It has been a busy two weeks at the Housewife household. What I couldn't tell you before I can tell you now. After the circus of #1's baptism and reception I have been planning a surprise retirement party for my sweet mother-in-law. I've been helping out Turtle's Dad because the Turtle's Grandmother was in the hospital and was eventually moved to hospice the week before the party. So I happily volunteered to spend my father-in-laws money and plan the big par-tay. We've been planning this since April.

The Single Gal had to talk me off the ledge a few times and due to Turtle's grandmother passing away the night before the party and I really thought we were going to have to let the cat out of the bag. Namely because Turtle's younger sis lives in South Florida and was driving up under the guise of "my birthday." Which really seemed insane to Turtle's Mom because the funeral is this weekend and sis was going to have to come all the way back again (she didn't even leave Atlanta until Tuesday folks) on Friday. While we had a sad event in between we were able to pull of the surprise flawlessly.

I channeled my inner DIY and made some mason jar vases for the party based on an idea from this link. I added a button to mine.

Here we are with Turtle on Saturday

Other big news is that The Single Gal and I had to start training for the Las Vegas Marathon Monday. Today is my 4th day of working out in a row and I really think my coach is trying to kill me. The workouts are not even very difficult right now but he's making me do ab work. I have never been one to do very much ab work unless I'm doing a gym class with the Single Gal and let's face it........it's been a long time since I did a gym class. Don't get me wrong, I've been going to the gym a couple days a week running and doing a yoga class every Friday. I did my ab work on Monday after my run and my stomach muscles are still screaming. Still. I'm definitely ready to get back to my old marathon running self but it is definitely challenging. We're not even to the hard stuff yet, this is just "base" training. The training before the training. Super. 

If you need me I'll be staging my come back. Just like Britney Spears. Hit me baby one more time. I'm off to the gym........

Happy Birthday to The Housewife, Love The Single Gal

(Sorry for the terrible quality of this photo of a photo. And no, I really don't know which one is which.)

Look at these two super stars on the day they were born!  We sure do look like we went through a lot that day. Heck--we've been through a lot together in 28 years so far.  It's hard to describe being a twin--I honestly don't think I will ever be closer to anyone else other than The Housewife. That's just the way it is.  We couldn't get away from each other even if we wanted to--and, let's face it, I'm hard to be around most days so I am sure she's tried.  

Stuck.Like.Glue.

How fun to share a birthday with your bestie! I can't wait to see some of the fam and exchange our gifts tonight.  We have so many more adventures to go on, so many more cups of coffee to drink, books to talk about, loud laughs to have, stories to share, and blogs to write. 

Love you always, Sissy. 

~the single gal~ 

Fashion Police

Did anyone see Fergie's dress during the Black Eyed Peas performance on the American Music Awards a few weeks ago? I mean, were you thinking the same thing I was thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking.

This is some sort of glow in the dark radiating uterus dress. I'm pretty sure Joan Rivers would call her a streetwalker. This is neon vomit.

It was weird, right?

#whatwasshethinking

The Housewife

I believe in Chuck and Blair 4 Ever

I had such an awesome weekend that I would be sad that tomorrow is Monday, except my our birthday is on Tuesday so Monday is okay with me this week. 

Among other awesome things, I FINALLY took the time to catch up on the last 5 or so Gossip Girl episodes on my DVR.   Best.Show.Ever. Even though I feel like a teeny bopper watching it. And lusting after Ed Westwick.  I always ache to go back to New York after drowning myself in more than 1 episode of this show--love the city shots so much! Can't wait until next season.

p.s. I really kind of want to make any of these my screen saver at work. But I think that's probably pretty unprofessional.  And Blair Waldorf would never do that at W. 

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

Does Anyone Really Believe that Gwen Stefani Uses that Preference Hair Color in a Box?

So...if you follow on Tumblr you know that the beginning of our birthday month has started out very well.  I came home yesterday to a Sephora package on my doorstep--one that I didn't order (you know, because I am trying to be all responsible and crap and not feed my online shopping addiction)! Little A threw a gift card my way for my birthday gift.  Love, love, love Little A. She is good people.  The Housewife got one too, courtesy of her nice, tattooed UPS man. 

I know what you're thinking--how can it get better than a Sephora gift card and it's only the first day of the month? That special birth month where I do what I want, eat what I want, and shop guilt free...wait...I do that every day anyway because I'm single (and you thought there weren't any perks).  

Well, it does get better.  I was walking the dog today when a hot guy drove by in a truck with his cute yellow lab in the passenger seat.  We smiled.  We I had  moment where our eyes met.  Whatev.  I take the dog in the house and go about my daily routine--dinner, gym, etc.  Except I am walking the dog later tonight and discover that it is VERY possible Hot Guy with the Tacoma and Yellow Lab (to be referred to from now on as HGTYL) now lives in my neighborhood.  

(The truck is hot y'all)

The ironic part--I am so out of the loop I never would have known about said hot neighbor (HGTYL) had I not adopted my ex-boyfriend's dog because I was walking Hogan when he drove by.  Let's throw a big virtual "thanks" out to 3 Putt.  And to Little Baby Jesus, he clearly knows what's up and that it's my birthday. 

Why is this stuff important? Because this Single Gal needs a little hope as a present for the month of June.  Let's face it--I am not even given "and guest" on wedding invites anymore and I'm almost 30.  I'm not sure yet if it's because people are worried I might be a lesbian (no judgement) or if they have just given up.  But, if there is no hope, at least I have Sephora gift cards to keep my single self looking super fly for hot neighbors. 

(super fly, in case you were wondering what that looks like)

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~