Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I was recently discussing someone's relationship with my good friend SJA.  We've been friends for a while and we went to have fro-yo at lunch and catch up on gossip.  Like the white chicks that we are (SJA could seriously be a white chick solely based on his love of fro-yo) we were talking about a friend who has been dating a girl for a while now.  Long story short I had to break it to SJA that I felt like our friend had been indexed into the "Not Going to Marry" file by said girl.  Being the dude that he is, SJA didn't know that I was talking about.

What SJA didn't realize is that all SG's index every man they meet, hang out with, date, or fall in love with.  (We really are a very organized species).  Sometimes men can jump files or may be be filed into two folders simultaneously, but nonetheless, all men are indexed.

  • The "Friend" file -- this file could hold lots of people.  Guys you really like and who are funny, but these are the ones that you are probably not attracted to at all.  Sometimes you might look at them wistfully and think to yourself, "I wish he were 6'2 and handsome. Then I could put him in a totally different mental folder."

  • The "Never Going to Marry" file -- Oh this one probably holds lots of exes that you mistakenly put in another folder, but also holds some others.  Namely the guys you think are super fun, cute, and/or exciting but you also know it would never work.  You love going out with them, they are tons of fun, they take you on really fun dates.  But...maybe they don't have a great job or they just aren't really responsible enough to be considered the future father of your children.

  • "Good on Paper" -- This is probably the worst of all.  The good on paper guys.  That guy that by all logical means should be The One.  Perfect for you in every way.  But no matter how hard you try you just don't love him.  And you try.  But. There. Is. Nothing. There.

  • The "Only Good For One Thing" file -- Surely I don't need to elaborate on this one.  (This file can usually be put inside of the "Things/People that are Trouble" file. Or, "I Love You and Hate You At The Same Time".)

  • And then, the ultimate folder.  "The One"/"I Want to Marry You" folder -- Clearly mine is seriously empty.  Unless you count the celebrities I have thrown in.  Namely Bradley Cooper and Bubba Watson who are the current front runners to date.  

Let's not forget that all SG's have their own special filing system and the labels might not be the same, but you get the idea.  And now I will consider my good deed for the day done since I have hopefully educated a small portion of the male population this fine evening in March. 

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

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