Feeding Frenzy

This is not a post about my woes of #1 not eating or refusing to eat certain things. She's a little person and they go through phases and likes and dislikes just like we do. I loathe meal time for one main reason and that is because it MESSY.  No matter how well you clean things there is always some crusted macaroni noodle or a banana slice glued to the floor, even if you have a 3 x 5 floor mat to catch said food. It's even worse because #1 likes to clean her tray off when she is "all done." This means she takes her hand and puts anything that is still on the tray onto the floor. Yay.

I'm also having a high chair problem. At first, we had the space saver high chair because my kitchen is not vast and expansive so in the effort to "save space" we registered for one of those. I have no complaints about the space saver and really liked it....that is until #1 would rock herself back and forth with all her might annoying the ever living shit out of me while I slaved over a stove to cook her a grilled cheese sandwich. It made me want to throw my dining chair with the space saver through my kitchen windows (not with the baby in it in case you were concerned). So I bought an old school wooden high chair off craigslist and painted it pink. It is sturdy and she doesn't do all that rocking bullshit. But I can't get all the crusted food junk off the wooden high chair very well. So I've been researching and I'm convinced this will change my life:

This is an Oxo Tot Sprout Baby high chair and it is $250. "Wow, Housewife that is a lot of money for some stupid chair when you already have a high chair," is what you're probably thinking. Guess what? I don't care how ridiculous it seems. I'm a woman; it's only in our nature to complain and insist THIS is what we need in order to survive the cold, cruel world. Good thing Turtle does not need much convincing to spend money.  This is probably going to come live with us in the very near future.....maybe even this weekend. It's an extended use high chair and you can use it through five years. Although my prediction is it will be used by #1 for the foreseeable future and perhaps a #2 might come along one day and use it as well. I don't think kids like being in a high chair very long once they can sit in a booster seat.

If you need me I will be scraping old banana mush off the floor mat with a butter knife and then clorox-ing the crap out of it. And if this high chair is a big piece of junk.........I'll never admit it to any of you.

The Housewife

Monday Obsession: Dry Bar

Recently I have been talking with some of my girlfriends about wanting to try Dry Bar since they have been open in Atlanta.  I mean, what's not to love about a $35 blow out??! I also recently saw that Atlanta blogger Clemson Girl and the Coach also went as well.  Her blog is super cute and so is she so I was definitely sold.  

I finally  got together with one of my besties, Elise and we both scheduled appointments since we were long overdue for one of our 6 hour Sunday brunch/shopping dates.  Y'all -- Dry Bar did not disappoint! I had a wonderful mimosa (they even know how to make them right--lots of champagne and a splash of OJ), got my hair did, and chatted with Elise while chick flicks were playing on a TV. They have a menu of different hairstyles (!) to choose from and the service was fabulous! 

They only sad part is that it had basically been raining in Atlanta for well over 24 hours by the time I arrived and the bad weather wasn't slated to let up anytime soon.  So, since my hair isn't super at holding any curl on a good day a lot of my "Miss America" look disappeared by the time I even drove to Phipps Plaza for lunch/the Tory Burch President's Day sale.  Le sigh.  But, I guess it's a great excuse to go back! 

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

Paradise

I hope they aren't running computer reports today at work, because I never blog at work but I am today. But if anyone asks, it took me less than 5 minutes, I'm on my lunchbreak, and it's nothing offensive.

I found this quote today and I think it may be the sweetest thing I've ever seen, and if I were ever to get married, I would be happy forever if my husband said this about me.

"This morning, with her, having coffee."

~Johnny Cash, when asked for his definition of paradise.~

Love you. Mean it.

~the single gal~

Monday Obsession: Warby Parker

If you do take the time to read our blog, you will know that in December Hogan Muffin chewed my glasses up when I dared to leave him to go to a Christmas party.  As a Single Gal, the budget is always a little tight so this was a major set back for me.  Especially since I a) really loved the glasses I already had and didn’t need new ones and b) glasses are really expensive and I like to use my insurance allotment for contacts.  I had a really old pair of glasses to get me by but I was super bummed about the fact that new ones were really going to break the bank. If I ever found the money to get some new ones.  Except they didn’t.  

Enter -- Warby Parker.  While I am aware a lot of people already know about Warby Parker I first read about them in Matchbook Magazine and I couldn’t help but to devote some more time to this company with a post, especially after my wonderful shopping experience.  This is a company dedicated to providing affordable, yet fashionable eyewear for the general masses.  And -- on top of this, they donate a pair of glasses for every pair they sell.  I completely adore and appreciate this because when I was in 7th grade my mother was too poor to buy me frames and lenses when we discovered I needed glasses.  Kwoww worked for Delta Airlines for about 30 years and someone happened to leave their glasses unclaimed on a flight and guess what peeps -- those were the frames I had to use. And I wasn’t allowed to get contacts until I wore them for a year. If I could show you a pitiful photo from 7th grade I would, but I don’t even know where to find one. Just pity me appropriately without the visual mmmmk?

All Warby Parker frames + lenses are $95.  Seriously. That’s all I paid.  I don’t even think I paid shipping.  Their customer service was stellar.  I randomly woke up on a Saturday morning at 6 a.m. after getting paid and practically ran downstairs to make coffee and order mine. In my complete excitement to order, I put the wrong color frames in my virtual shopping cart and failed to notice after I reviewed my order twice. So, I immediately emailed them to let them know what an idiot I was.  I got an immediate response on Monday and they didn’t hasell me at all.  Also, they said it would be at least 10 days to make & ship them (understandable) except they shipped on Wednesday and I got them on my doorstep on Friday. Less than a week.

A few other things I loved:

- You have the option of having them mail you 5 different pairs of frames to try out before purchasing. Or, you can use your web cam and virtually try on a lot of frames.

- My doctor never put down my “PD” measurement for how far apart my pupils are from each other. Warby Parker has this crazy cool feature where you use your web cam and a debit card and it measures it for you.  And then emails your results to them.  Super neat!

-The case and the box my frames came in are gorgeous. They make you feel like you bought a $400 pair of frames.

I snagged the Huxley frames in my attempt to embrace geek chic and pretend I model for JCrew.

I took an awkward self-portrait the day I got them as well. I really adore them. And, they were so affordable, I can't wait to order another pair!

Love you. Mean it.
~the single gal~

Wu Who?

So I was curious about this big to do about another designer fashion line coming to Target (a.k.a. the white chick mecca). I know the hype about the Missoni stuff was crashing their servers Die Hard 2 style when it became available for purchase. I came upon an article that was explaining in order to avoid that same debacle Target released the items for sale at 12 a.m. instead of 8 a.m. which was the expected/announced time. Some Target stores *supposedly* had  a two-piece per style limit because many people come in to buy it only to re-sell it later on e-bay.

Word is (as per above article) that Target will re-stock only select items online and nothing in the actual stores. Does anyone else not understand this? If it is selling so well, why don't they just manufacture plenty for all or most of us? I'm sure only limited things would be left on the sale rack like every other line they carry in the store. I went to one area store to scope things out and they had maybe six or eight items left and that was it besides a few of his handbags.

And with further research there are almost 11,000 Jason Wu for Target items on e-bay and here is a you-tube video of a couple in a Miami store who were allowed to buy their ENTIRE stock of merchandise. Some people estimated this to be $7K.

As you can see these two jerk faces have a lot of shit in their carts. I'm shocked no one requested a manager to inquire about this and I would certainly be getting the district and regional managers information and speaking with Target's home office if I was in that store hoping to buy something. I hope no one buys any of this stuff on e-bay. Maybe if Target wouldn't offer it in such limited amounts this wouldn't be so prevalent. It's more like boo-hoo for many fans and customers.

Butter Really Does Make Everything Better

Just because the holidays have come and gone doesn't mean that my baking frenzy is over! I came yesterday and it was a very rainy afternoon. I had a migraine and thought my whole evening after work was completely done for, but I was cruising Pinterest after taking some meds and was suddenly feeling better and feeling inspired.  

Let's talk about the best part of this recipe -- I had all the ingredients measured out and practically had them all mixed together by the time my oven was pre-heated! What's better than a super easy bread recipe that takes next to no time and involves a beer? I used a leftover Guinness that was in the fridge since I had to buy them to make a beef stew a few weeks ago {that I never ended up blogging about}.  

I have linked the recipe to credit the person who came up with this delicious and easy bread, but you can also just read it below. 

~Honey Beer Bread~

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 Tbsp sugar
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 Tbsp honey or agave nectar
• 1 12 oz bottle of beer
• 4 Tbsp butter, melted (you can double if you want)

Yield: 1 Loaf

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees and grease a 9"x 5" x 3" loaf pan

In a medium bowl whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Using a wooden spoon, stir the beer and honey into the dry ingredients until just mixed.  Tip -- put the honey into the microwave for a bit to make it easier to mix!

Pour half the melted butter into the loaf pan. Spoon batter into pan, then pour the rest of the butter on top. 

Bake for 50-60 minutes, or until top is golden brown. Serve immediately. 

Smells good!!! 

Butter really did make my day better. And beer.  And bread. 

Love you. Mean it. 

~the single gal~

Roid Rage

I know what you're thinking. Housewife, why are you pretending like you're the Barry Bonds of housewives? Well, here you go. I got a call from the nurse at my doctor's office after some routine blood work and it was discovered my thyroid is a little hypo; as in hypothyroidism. Lovely. I have an under-active gland issue. So what do I have to show for that you might ask? Hormone pills. Just what every woman wants, something that changes her hormone levels. Husbands run for the hills and don't look back. I told Turtle to just watch out because I could either be a puddle of tears or a raging bitch. He's hoping more tears and less bitch, obvi.

Less of this:

More like this:

So far things have been going well. (Pretend the Fairy Godmother is my pill bottle....transforming me into happiness and sparkles of energy.) The diagnosis makes sense now that I look back at the symptoms and some things I have been experiencing like daily fatigue and major cold sensitivity. The bad part is you have to take meds for the rest of your life and sometimes there is some trial and error to getting your dosage at the most appropriate level. I'm most excited for my energy levels to return. I've been having some horrible work outs and running even 4 miles feels extremely difficult. The other potential benefit of these pills is that they supposedly "increase" your metabolism. It can be difficult for hypo-thyroid people to lose weight. So maybe it will get these few stupid Holiday/twizzler bite addict pounds off, especially since I don't seem to have the energy level to get more done at the gym right now.

If you need me I'll be taking my white girl pills, eating twizzlers anyway and sewing instead of going to the gym (or cleaning my house).

The Housewife