Friday, October 5, 2012

See the Beauty

I follow the Styleberry blog on Facebook as well as in our reading links and she linked up to this Huffington Post article by Allison Tate. As mothers, how many of us are always behind the camera instead of in front of it? I really enjoy taking pictures but to be honest I'm hardly ever in any pictures with my daughter. My husband on the other hand is in about 4 million of them. Why is that? I'm sure part of it is me and the other is that men just don't think about and I never push it. I never say, "Here, please take some pictures of me with her."  I'm especially feeling the way Allison did in the article because I'm pregnant. I don't see the happiness in my daughters face in the photo. All I can see is my chubby arms, that my hair doesn't look good, that my face is much fuller than normal and plagued by terrible melasme (aka pregnancy mask) no matter how many times a day I put sunscreen on my face.  #1's birthday party is this in tomorrow. (Let's not even talk about how much Turtle and I need to accomplish before 11 am.)

Do I want her to look back on her 2nd birthday and not have any family pictures from Saturday? I'm sure I won't like any of them. They will always be at "the wrong angle" or the most "unflattering." Her first birthday was fine.......I was in marathon shape and actually got up super early with The Single Gal to get my 20 miles in before her party that afternoon. This year I'm almost 33 weeks pregnant. Every time I go into a store I can feel people staring at me. More than likely it's because they are afraid I will just go into spontaneous labor as due to my size I look "full term".........because that's such a realistic occurrence. To just go into active labor in the middle of Barnes and Noble when you walked in just fine (usually it's men who appear afraid of this scenario).

The thing is, #1 doesn't know the "f" word- as in FAT. When she looks at a picture of us she sees "MOMMY"! And when she's older I'm sure she will still feel the same way. I dread the day when she no longer sees herself and begins to be critical of her appearance because of what she thinks she should look like. I'm sure those years are very far off but I'm sure they will come. How can we expect our children to be any different when at our current ages we still fight the same fight?

I vow this weekend that I will be in pictures with my daughter. In a few weeks time it will no longer be the three of us but the five of us. It's my last pregnancy...I will love my belly and the rest of my body.

The Housewife

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