Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dating Update {part two}

As many of you know I referenced the return of 3 Putt in my last dating blog.  I am returning for Part II. When we parted I had just completed my 3rd outing with Blind Date.  Also, after months and months of trying (fruitlessly) to forget 3 Putt (remember this post?) part of me still felt like I was standing in the same place after all this time. And I didn't want to get tangled up in the same mess again. So on a Monday afternoon when 3 Putt texted me and asked me to dinner later that week I declined. Also, I was seriously kind of in a panic because I just could not let myself get involved with him again in any sort of casual relationship. It couldn't happen.  So I send a second text. The one I felt sure would deter him from contacting me again.  I basically said I could not consider dinner ever because he only wanted to see me casually. That if he wanted to sit down and discuss our issues and discuss a monogamous, committed relationship I would be amenable. {I mean, this usually sends all males running to the hills, right?!}

I'd like you to try to truly imagine how far my jaw dropped when he replies that he has to see me that night and wants to "lay all his cards on the table".  But then he also said I still may want to punch him in the face.  I was pretty freaked.  But also insanely curious as to what in the hell had happened to him that would make him say that after all this time. I calmly replied that was OK, but seriously people I wasn't about to change my Monday plans at a moments notice.  So I said he could make his statements after I got back from the gym. 
And after that I promptly started frantically texting and emailing The Housewife. 

Really, I am shocked I actually made it to the gym that night.   All of the texting occurred earlier during a regular work day and I had almost talked myself out of the possibility that I could even think of quieting my mind enough to attend gym class.  

I was really surprised when 3 Putt came over.  First - we had a serious, grown up talk about conflicts, relationships, our prior issues, what the bottom line was for both of us, expectations, reality, etc.  Second -- I really thought that a man showing up on your doorstep making a grand gesture was something that really only happened in the movies.  As such, I told 3 Putt that I would be very willing to think about starting a real and serious relationship with him but that I needed a week to mull things over.  Mainly because when someone runs up to you and tells you things you waited over a year to hear that were never said it all seems too good to be true.   And you start to wonder what the catch is -- there has to be one, right? You don't just wake up on a Monday morning and suddenly become Carrie and Big from SATC. 

I truly thought long and hard about my decision.  I knew that some things would still be hard for us -- like telling all my friends and family about him being back in my life.  I knew that he might not get a warm reception from some.  He may not get a warm reception from my family.   I prayed a lot when we were apart the last half of 2012 and I prayed a lot more that following week.  I decided that if he was willing to give "us" a real try then I really wanted to do the same.  They say a lot of people think the path to success is a straight line.  But it's not -- it's full of ups and downs, risks that pay off and risks that don't pay off.  I think that relationships are the same.  Has our path been really squiggly? Yes.   But that's perfectly OK with me. And life is too short to worry about much else. 

It feels super weird to me to have a "boyfriend" after several years of nothing serious.  Really weird.  {Seriously someone email me tips on how to be a good girlfriend because I just do whatever I want.} It's also different to seem to be starting from square one of a serious relationship, but at the same time already having known the other person so long.  And I don't mean these things in a negative way -- like I said -- it's like I woke up one Monday and everything changed.   And some days I still want to know if it's really happening but 3 Putt is always leaving me friendly reminders and telling me that it really is happening.  

And, I don't want y'all to think I have abandoned you Single Gals.  I have already told 3 Putt as long as I am filing taxes as a single individual we will still have lots to write about here! 

Love you. Mean it. 
~the single gal~

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